


The Refined Art of Being Absolutely Terrible

by tsubahono



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Swearing, humor. i think, on today's episode of garupa pico: sayo calls the fucking cops, welcome to another shitfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 13:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17447453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsubahono/pseuds/tsubahono
Summary: How Roselia spends their Friday night: Diligently practicing and writing new songs.How Afterglow spends their Friday night: In jail, probably.





	The Refined Art of Being Absolutely Terrible

**Author's Note:**

> this is the wildest thing ive ever written. please leave a comment if u enjoy

Ran awoke to shuffling, and what she thought was something hitting the floor. She wasn't really too sure though - and really, not awake enough to care. It was just background noise to her, and being half-asleep, she paid it no mind. She let herself slip back into whatever dream she was having, exhaling softly.

 

She _wanted_ to, at least. But fate had other plans for her. And by fate, she meant Moca.

 

“Hey, Ran.”

 

Ran just grunted, trying to ignore her - she didn't even have to be fully awake to recognize her best friend's voice.

 

“Ran…” Moca muttered, putting a hand on her shoulder and shaking her gently.

 

Finally, the girl in bed managed to snap out of her haze, opening her eyes fully and turning in bed to look groggily at Moca.

 

“Ran.”

 

“ _What._ ”

 

“We're having an emergency band meeting. Get up,” her friend half-whispered.

 

“ _What_?” Ran repeated. Moca turned her phone's flashlight on, leaving her to squint blearily, raising an arm in an attempt to block out the light. “God, what time is it?”

 

“It's 3,” the white-haired girl deadpanned.

 

“...AM?”

 

“No, Ran, It's 3PM, that's why it's dark outside.”

 

“Oh my god. Just - Why are you here? How did you even get in?” Her speech was a bit slurred in her tired state, but she hoped her annoyance was getting across.

 

“The window. And like I said, we have a band meeting. So get up.”

 

“Moca it's literally 3 in the morning. It can wait. Don't wake me up unless - I don't know, unless Tsugumi is dying or something,” she muttered, before turning back over.

 

The girl put her phone down. “Okay asshole, time to get up~,” she said, half laughing, as she pulled Ran out of bed. “The others are waiting outside.”

 

All the dark-haired girl could do was groan and allow her friend to drag her away from the comfort of her sheets, whining when she fell to the floor. Exhaling deeply, she sat up, glaring tiredly at Moca in the dim lighting.

 

“Outside… Moca, what's going on?”

 

“You'll see. Just follow me.”

 

Ran grabbed her phone from her desk, shoving it into the pocket of her sweatpants. As she watched the other girl slip out the window and heard a _thud_ followed by a quiet, “ _shit,_ ” she decided not to question it.

 

She had half a mind to slip on a jacket, before following after Moca.

 

Ran didn't know where they were going, but the rest of Afterglow had, in fact, been waiting outside for her. Tomoe and Himari were holding plastic bags full of different snack foods.

 

“What the hell,” was all Ran could mutter as she finally reached the ground, having climbed out the window more tactfully than her friend.

 

“Alright, let's go,” Tomoe said, trying to keep her voice down. Ran didn't know if she should even bother asking at this point, but she did anyway.

 

“Go where?”

 

“You'll see!” Himari piped up with way more energy than anyone should have at 3 in the morning.

 

Ran followed them tiredly, filled with nothing but annoyance and confusion. Which was only amplified when they got on the train closest to her house. Who the hell conducted trains at this time?

 

Ran threw herself into a seat. At least her contempt was keeping her awake - she didn't feel like falling back asleep.

 

Tsugumi and Moca sat down next to her, with Tomoe and Himari on her other side. She leaned into Tsugumi with a sigh.

 

“When are you guys gonna tell me what's going on?”

 

Tsugumi just chuckled nervously, looking at the other band members as if she wasn't sure if she should speak. Finally, Moca leaned forward with a shit-eating grin, looking past Tsugumi to catch Ran's eye.

 

“We're gonna go mess with Roselia, and it’s gonna be great. Lisa told me they were going to be up all night at Yukina's house working on their new song, so this is our chance to strike.”

 

Ran openly groaned. “Really? They're trying to get work done. This is really immature, why can't we just leave them b--”

 

“Ran,” Moca interrupted.

 

“ _What_.”

 

“We're going to fuck with Yukina.”

 

There was a moment of silence, in which all that could be heard was the rumbling of the train tracks. Finally, Ran caved.

 

“...Alright. I'm in.”

 

 

 

 

 

It took some time to get there, and it was hard to see what they were doing. Being 3AM, it was late enough that there weren't any streetlights on, so Moca was yet again using her phone’s flashlight to see. When they finally managed to arrive at Yukina's house, they could see lights on in the main room. Moca grinned.

 

Himari began to walk up to the door, snacks in hand, until the white-haired guitarist put an arm in in front of her.

 

“Wait.”

 

“Moca?”

 

The smile on her face could only mean one thing.

 

“I have an idea.”

 

“Oh god,” Ran muttered, as Moca ushered them all to a bush against the side of the house, making them all crouch behind it. She already didn't like where this was going.

 

“So what are we gonna do?” Tomoe asked, setting her bags down gently in her lap.

 

“Shouldn't that be obvious?” Moca asked.

 

“Ooh, I see,” Himari spoke up after adding her plastic bags to Tomoe’s lap. Moca and Himari nodded sagely, as if the plan had already been explained.

 

“This doesn't tell us anything,” Ran nearly snapped, slapping a hand against the other guitarist's shoulder.

 

Moca put a hand over her chest, looking at her in mock offense. “ _Rannn_ ~ I thought we were best friends~ you're supposed to read my thoughts.”

 

“Just explain what we're doing, already.”

 

Ignoring their vocalist’s bad attitude, she kept talking. “ _Fu_ , fu, fu… We're gonna pull a prank on them. It's a little extreme… and it might scar them for life, but… if we don't do it, no one will.”

 

Himari nodded again, to which Tsugumi only tilted her head.

 

“And… that is…?”

 

“We're gonna doorbell ditch them,” she deadpanned.

 

Tomoe snorted as Ran groaned and put her head in her hand.

 

“We've really stooped this low, huh?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Probably.”

 

“You know it.”

 

The black-haired girl rubbed her temple. “This is not how I wanted to spend my Friday night.” She knew she had agreed to it, but all she felt was regret now.

 

“Well that's unfortunate,” was all she got in response. She glared at Moca, before turning to the rest of the group.

 

“Well, who's going to do it, then?”

 

They all looked at her. There was a moment of silence that seemed to drag on for a long time, before Himari spoke.

 

“Well, have fun with that, Ran!”

 

“Guys, really!?”

 

She tried to argue, but she was pushed out of the bushes before she could get any coherent words out. She scowled, before trudging up to where the door stood. Stopping, she looked back to the bush to be met with 4 pairs of curious eyes peering back at her. She scoffed, before knocking on the door. She then half-jogged back to their hiding place, settling in the shrubbery right as the door opened.

 

They could hear Lisa's voice.

 

“Uh… hello?” She waited a moment. “That's weird… guys, there's no one here,” they heard her say before the door shut.

 

When the threat of being caught was gone, Moca and Himari turned on Ran.

 

“What was that, Ran!?” The pink-haired girl whisper-yelled, gesturing towards the door.

 

“ _What_? I did what you told me to.”

 

“Hardly,” Moca pointed out. “You barely had enough time to hide. You have to run.”

 

“So? I still got here in time. It doesn't matter.”

 

Moca and Tomoe looked at each other, before the latter folded her arms. “Ran… you have a lot to learn.”

 

Moca nodded. “She's right. Go do it again.”

 

“ _What_.”

 

“And you're gonna _keep_ doing it until you get it right. Now get going~”

 

“I can’t _believe_ you guys,” Ran muttered under her breath, taking a moment to flip her best friend off as she walked back to the door. She knocked again, a bit louder this time, before turning around and running back to her hiding place. They soon heard the door open, and a foot tapping awkwardly. A short moment passed before they heard someone talking from inside the house. It was followed by Yukina's more clear voice. “No, there's no one.”

 

The door then closed. Ran took that opportunity to look back at her bandmates, only to be met with disappointed faces.

 

“What!? I did it fine!” Ran snapped. Her patience was about ready to run out.

 

Moca shook her head, folding her arms this time. “Ran… that was a sad, sad display.”

 

Himari put a hand on Moca's shoulder, as if she was comforting her, and looked at Ran. “You haven't truly mastered the art of doorbell ditching.”

 

“Then what do you want me to do!?”

 

“Go try again. And really put your soul into it this time~” Moca ordered.

 

She knew better than to argue. With a groan, Ran jumped out of the bush _again_ and stormed up to the door. She rapped her knuckles against it, before pivoting on her heel and making a dash for the bush. She got back safely with seconds to spare before the door opened.

 

“Uh, whoever’s there, Sayo-san’s getting mad…!” They heard Ako's half-hearted shout. The door then shut.

 

Ran turned back to the group again. “How was that?”

 

Moca just sighed, much to Ran's disbelief.

 

“I mean… it was alright, I guess,” said Tomoe, shrugging.

 

“Guys, I literally--”

 

“Tsst,” Moca interrupted her, _again_. “I think I've seen enough, Ran.”

 

“Wh--”

 

“Tsugu, go show her how a professional does it.”

 

Tsugumi nearly jumped. “M- Me!?”

 

Himari shot her a thumbs up, backed by a huge grin from Tomoe.

 

“You can do it, Tsugu!”

 

The brunette scratched the back of her neck. “I mean… I'll do my best-!”

 

The rest of the band - minus Ran - silently cheered her on as she walked up sheepishly to the door. She gave two quick knocks before running away and stumbling on her way down the porch steps, narrowly avoiding having her face planted in the sidewalk. She scrambled back to their hiding place right as the door was thrown open.

 

“I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE,” Sayo’s voice cut through the quiet of the night. Everything was completely still for a moment, no sound coming from either party, before the door was slammed shut.

 

Moca lost it. She started laughing under her breath, tears forming in her eyes from trying to be quiet.

 

“H- How did I do?” The keyboardist asked nervously.

 

Tomoe put a hand on Tsugumi's shoulder, and Himari nodded as Moca wiped the tears from her eyes.

 

“That was great, Tsugu.”

 

Himari smiled. “I'm sure Ran learned a lot from that.”

 

“I'm proud of you,” Tomoe added.

 

Ran wanted to scream. “Guys, she barely even made it back, and I--”

 

But she went ignored.

 

“I- Isn't this bad, though?” Tsugumi piped up. “Sayo-san said she was going to call the police…”

 

“Nah, we're fine. She was just bluffing, you know her,” Moca assured her. “Anyway, we can go give them the snacks now. That was great.”

 

Tomoe stood up. “Yeah, they're probably tired of energy drinks by now.”

 

They all crawled out from the bushes, brushing the dirt and twigs off of themselves. Ran was still steaming as they approached the door, Moca chuckling. Finally, she knocked. They heard papers shuffling loudly before someone came marching to the door, an audible, ‘ _bang_ ’ sounding with every step, before the door flew open.

 

“I'VE CALLED THE POLICE, THEY'RE ON THEIR W--”

 

It went silent for what felt like the millionth time that night as Sayo realized who was at the door. She stared them down, dumbfounded, as Lisa came to see what was going on.

 

“Moca…? Oh, hey guys!” She turned back to look into the house. “Guys, Afterglow is here!”

 

“We brought snacks,” the white-haired girl commented as Tomoe and Himari held up the goods.

 

Lisa smiled, the exhaustion all too prevalent in her eyes. “God, Moca, you're my hero.”

 

Moca just grinned.

 

The girls were let inside, and soon settled into the couch as Sayo watched, dumbfounded. Finally, she clicked her tongue, her bad mood far too obvious, sitting on the end of the couch next to Tsugumi. The rest of Roselia was on the floor, music sheets spread out in front of them.

 

They started digging into the snacks, ripping open bags and passing around soda cans. This went on for a moment, until Lisa gradually froze, her brows furrowing.

 

“Lisa?” Yukina asked, putting down the drink she had been sipping.

 

“I… I forgot that Sayo… actually did call the police.”

 

Ran's expression morphed into something between anger and disbelief. “She _what_.”

 

They all looked at Sayo, who was slumped over tiredly on the couch. She sputtered for a moment.

 

The girl groaned under her breath before finally turning and burying her head into Tsugumi's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her and beginning to cry.

 

“I've been awake for forty hours and I'm running on nothing but redbull and I'm tired and I- I fucked up I'm sorry Tsugumi, I don't want you to go to jail, fuck,” she sobbed.

 

Being fully awake and in her right mind enough to know that she definitely would _not_ be arrested over something like this, the brunette just smiled awkwardly, rubbing Sayo’s back in an attempt to console her. Lisa pulled out her phone and started filming.

 

Interesting, thought Tsugumi, what caffeine and sleep deprivation can do to a person’s composure.

 

Moca snorted loudly, earning a teary-eyed glare from the crying girl. Ako couldn't help but join Moca, and soon they were all laughing.

 

Until they heard a knock on the door.

 

They spent the next fifteen minutes awkwardly explaining the situation to two very annoyed police officers.

**Author's Note:**

> sayo fuckign crytypes


End file.
